Indrani Perera

poet, publisher & mentor

Tag: writing

Writing is Thinking

During the very first lockdown here in Melbourne in March 2020 I was filled with a sense of peace and relief at the free time I had spreading out to become large enough to breathe and craft and think. Leading up to that lockdown I had been super busy and pulled in so many different directions that I gladly took on the chance to press pause on all my commitments.

During lockdown six (!) in August 2021, I was trying to recapture the feelings of the first lockdown by doing the same things but unsurprisingly it didn't work. I didn't feel like doing the same things because I was in a different place mentally and emotionally. Instead of being relieved to be at home, I was dying to get out of the house. To be able to spread my wings, see people and explore.

And I only realised why it didn't work and why those projects are gathering dust when I started blogging here again. Writing about my experience and what has been happening for me over the last few months has allowed me to get it out of my head so I can see it clearly. Writing really is thinking for me!

How do you process what is happening to you? Do you write or move or sing?

January 12, 2022
Cut The I

I have been trying to push my craft to see how good I can make my writing. It's why I do workshops all the time. I feel like an eternal student – always curious, always learning.

At the end of last year I completed the Poetics of Reticence class with Eve Grubin through the Poetry School in London. It was a fantastic 10 weeks of reading, writing, sharing and commenting on poetry. I love doing these kinds of workshops because I find being part of a group pushes me to write better things. And of course the tutor brings their expertise and particular way of looking at poetry which then informs my writing.

I don't want to keep writing the same poems again and again. I want to experiment with form and play with ideas. I want to get better at saying what can't be said. At hinting at those big things that concern us all.

I find it very easy to whip up a typical narrative plainsong style poem but I am interested in learning how to be more lyrical. I want to add metaphor and beautiful language to the plainsong.

I am also interested in writing more universally and less from the perspective of indulgent navel gazing. Okay, okay, I know that's a little harsh but I'd like to write less poems that have 'I' in every other line. In fact, I'm experimenting with not using it at all.

What are you experimenting with in your writing?

January 5, 2022
When To Let Go

In the last couple of years I've managed to create a few things that I am quite proud of. But there's one project from this year in particular that's still hanging around, haunting me. It's almost but not quite done because I haven't had the time to finish it. Or, if the truth be told, I haven't made the time.

I keep planning a certain month when I will clear the slate and focus on getting this project done. I tell myself, 'Oh yes. In November I will have done x,y and z and I will have time to finish this thing.' And then November rolls around and I manage to find other more urgent, more important things that need to be done.

There's another project that's been hanging around even longer and I keep forgetting it even exists. I have no idea if or when it will ever get finished. Which raises an interesting question about which projects get finished and which never see the light of day. It's not always the best ideas that come to fruition either. I wish there was a magic formula for figuring out which ones were the best so I could focus on them but unfortunately my creativity doesn't seem to work that way.

After my recent trip to Wye River I came home without any urge to check my do list or tick off items. I faffed around the house for a bit. Lay on the couch with a mystery gastro bug for a bit. Stared mindlessly out the window. Got lost in some internet rabbit holes. Pretty much just messed around not doing anything much. And then one morning while the rest of the house was still asleep I woke up without any clear goal or intention. I thought to myself, 'I'll just sit down at the computer and see what happens.'

These are my favourite days by the way. The ones where I don't have a set plan and I just noodle around following my curiosity and seeing where I end up. It's at times like these that my creativity feels the most bold and free. Its when I get the most passionate and excited and lose hours at a time.

I ended up starting a grand, new project. One that's going to mean going and learning a bunch of new skills like essay writing and creative non-fiction. I think I'll need to buy some books and do some research as well. So basically all my happy things – writing, books, reading, learning new things – wrapped up in one new project!

And just like that, I suddenly found myself thinking of ways to finish the project that's been bugging me. It turns out I can't let go of one project until I have another that I have started or lined up.

And you know what? I know this about myself but I forget it every time! Maybe I need to trust the process more 🙂

December 28, 2021
Between Pen and Paper

When I start a project I have heaps of creativity and enthusiasm. After the initial rush wears off, I settle into a bit of a groove and find my focus. Towards the end I get bored and have to push myself to finish. If I don’t, there’s a feeling that I won’t ever complete it. However, if I rush through the end, there’s the risk that I will botch it or don’t do it jsuctice.

It’s a delicate balancing act between getting the thing done and making it as good as it can be. I have a tendency to say, it’s good enough and claim it’s done. I’m wanting to push through that initial feeling of near enough is good enough and get to a new place of wow, this is brilliant!

But keeping the enthusiasm going can be hard. After a while doubt starts to creep in. For me the real danger is letting that doubt take hold and abandoning the project. I haven’t yet quite worked out how to push through the doubt and keep working on something that I know needs that last little bit of oomph to make it shine.

What do you struggle with in your writing or creative practice?

December 21, 2021
Grand Plans

I had grand plans for our family get-away to Wye River. I was going to get up early and swim in the ocean every morning. I imagined the salt water cleansing and washing away all the stress and anxiety of the past year (As if it's the ocean's responsibility to care for me.) I pictured myself sitting on the warm sand, starting out to sea, letting my gaze linger on the horizon and feeling my shoulder relax as I shed the weight of houses and people that surround me at home.

In reality, it was cold, much colder than Melbourne, and overcast a lot of the time so I didn't feel much like swimming. And if I'm honest, after all the busy and dong of 2021, I just really wanted to sit and do nothing. So that's what I did.

I spent a lot of time sitting on the couch in the photo and gazing at the hill covered in trees outside the window. Miss Eleven spent all her time making friends and playing survival tag on the giant air pillow. Miss Fifteen hung out in the cabin, chatting, playing guitar or listening to music on her phone.

I did some reading, some snoozing and an awful lot of staring out the window. Oh and I ate a hell of a lot of chocolate! It was so peaceful. I miss it already!

December 19, 2021
A Walk in the Woods

Staying at Wye River was incredible. When we came back from our day trip down the coast, we saw a kangaroo standing at the back of our cabin. The next day a three year old girl was walking on the grass outside the cabin, following a koala who was looking for a tree. The koala ended up climbing the tree opposite our cabin and letting out some grunts to claim its territory. Or maybe it was letting its friends know where it was. We also had some king parrots come on to our verandah to say hello as well as cockatoos who loved to perch on the roof and click clack their claws.

On our last full day we went for a walk along the mountain bike path and the lovely G was nature man, spotting all sorts of creatures. His best animal spotting for the day was an echidna snuffling ants just off the track!

If I ever had to recommend somewhere for overseas visitors to visit to see native wildlife, I would tell them – go to Wye River! It's incredible.

December 17, 2021
Wye River

I started this morning slightly foggy headed from getting up early to work before the rest of the house awoke. Serendipitously a space opened up for me to take part in the online Creative Future Eco-Poetry workshop with Rachel Burns. It's part of the Gingko Eco-Poetry Prize in conjunction with the Poetry School in London and is aimed at helping the poets who enter the competition to write better poetry. With the differences in times zones I managed to catch the last hour.

I also managed to sell a copy of the mini book I wrote for emerging poets – Pocketry's Guide to Getting Published and received an order for five bottles of Staccato, an organic blend from my Legato perfume online shop.

To round off my morning nicely I received an e-mail from Cordite to let me know that Elfie Shiosaki, the guest editor for issue 104:Kin, wanted to publish my poem, The Toddy Tappers. Pretty good for a morning's work hey? It feels like a lovely reward for all the years of work I have put into these various projects. And an example of the benefits of diversifying income streams. If only every morning could be this good!

I finished the day, here in Wye River, with a swim in the ocean. We were baking as we drove out of the city but I swear it was at least ten degrees cooler on the coast. I know it's all the trees, keeping things cool with their leaves and shade. It's wonderful to be here and I can't wait tp explore!

December 13, 2021
Shed Some Light

It's a Christmas tradition in our house for the girls to make presents for all those lovely grandparents, uncles and aunties who buy them gifts each year for their birthdays and Christmas. Over the years they have made bookmarks, paintings, aprons and reusable bags.

This year the decision of what to make was easy. A few months ago Miss Eleven bought a candle making kit from a supermarket and we all loved the candles she made. It helped that I already had essential oils on hand from my organic perfume making days at Legato.

We've done a lot of candle making over the years using beeswax from my father's bee hives as well as beekeeping suppliers. There's something magical about the golden glow and rich smell of honey wafting through the room.

But you know me, I love experimenting and playing with new materials. That thrill of discovery and feeling of newness fills my soul with gladness. It's the perfect antidote to the monotony of lockdown!

The biggest difference for these candles is that they have been make using soy wax. For years I've been anti soy wax for no real good reason except a residual dislike of soy products in general. After reading about how beeswax can contain pesticides etc (which makes sense if you think about it and from now on I'm only buying organic) I was much more open to trying soy. Of course the challenge now is to find organic, non GMO soy!

For these candles I bought some glass jars at the two dollar shop and the container in the photo from the homes wares section in a department store. My favourite find was the drinking glasses on sale for a dollar each. I'm going to gift those candles and it makes me happy that the glass can be used once the candle has been burned.

What are you making for Christmas gift giving this year?

December 10, 2021
A Good Listener

My poem, A Good Listener, about climate change and suburban gardens has been accepted for publication! I am so glad that this poem found a home and that editor Joan Fenney of The Crow saw something in it worthy of publication.

I've sent this poem off to many journals and competitions, believing there was something in it worthy of publication. It's hard to know just what it is that makes a poem one you believe in, one that you stubbornly keep sending out, rejection after rejection. Whatever it is, this poem had it. And so I kept on sending it in to journals, hoping that one day an editor would see in it what I did – words worthy of reading and being shared.

If you'd like to read my poem, head on over to Ginninderra Press' website and sign up for The Crow. It's well worth it!

December 6, 2021
Trust The Process

Creativity is a strange beast. I always forget parts of the process until it's time for them to happen again. It's like my mind has a series of rooms that lock themselves when I exit and I don't get the key until the next time I need to enter the room.

Actually that's a terrible analogy. But I don't know what's better or how to put it into words so let me tell you a story instead.

I've spent most of the last 6 months pushing hard on various creative projects. My ambition definitely outstripped my energy levels and I was feeling burnt out but I was too terrified to stop and give myself the break I so desperately needed. I could feel how thinly I had stretched myself but I just couldn't seem to get off the treadmill of early mornings and doing even though I was over it.

When I get super exhausted from all the creating, I feel like if I stop I won't ever start again. At the same time, I desperately need a break or I'll go mad. I know that I'm not working at my best or being effective but I just can't seem to stop doing or give myself permission to rest or do something else. What I should have done is read this post I wrote back in March last year on the cyclical nature of creativity and the need for rest and recuperation.

I was feeling that way the other day and I tried to convince myself that it was okay, it would turn out fine. I reminded myself to have faith and trust in the process. I'm not sure if I believed me, but hey, at least I tried!

December 3, 2021